Spontaneous Regression

Sometimes we have feelings about things we can't explain. Are we listening?

Trillium Lake, Government Camp, Oregon.

Dear Sundays,

One week into the new year, I am already brimming with gratitude. I've had two medical conditions I have been dealing with - one I've written about (anemia) and one that I haven't (an adrenal tumor I've had since 2018).

No one really wants to hear about other people's medical issues, so I won't go into microscopic detail about how they recommended removing my uterus to address my chronic anemia. Don't get me wrong, I fully support this as a medical intervention, but strangely, I had so many feelings about it. So much conditioning is wrapped into a woman's ability to bear children, and saying farewell to my womb felt like it would diminish me somehow. 

My gynecologist was pretty matter-of-fact about it, "You don't need it. It's not like you're going to have another baby." 

Well, that's for damn sure. But my immediate reaction was, "Actually, I do need it."

"For what?" she asked.

"I don't know why I just said that," I replied.